What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is defined in psychology as being "characterized by a person's striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations." (Stoeber, Joachim; Childs, Julian. H. 2010).

Whilst some may view perfectionism as being a positive thing, often the trait can have a negative impact on a person's mindset and productivity levels.

Am I a Perfectionist?

Perfectionists tend to focus on end results and not on the journey. Perfectionism will often go hand-in-hand with a fear of failure, leading to procrastination on tasks and goals. A perfectionist will usually be highly critical of themselves and will set unrealistic and unachievable standards.

What Can I Do About This?

1. Define what perfection means to you in your given situation and ask yourself, "Is this really achievable?". Work with a coach to set a more realistic goal, that still stretches and inspires you, but is manageable and time-bound.

2. What do you think will happen if, (whatever-it-is-that-you're-doing), is not perfect? Draw a table with three columns. Write all the assumptions you're making in the first column and then take time in the second column to analyse each point, asking yourself how helpful the assumption is and whether it is actually false. In the third column consider a conclusion that serves you better, that feels less fatalistic and more positive.

3. Look back at your life so far and consider times when things have not gone quite as perfectly as you might have hoped at the time - what was the outcome? What did you learn? What impact did this have on your life going forwards?

4. If you are procrastinating over a task, as yourself, "What is the smallest step I could take towards completing this/my goal?". Breaking a task down into the smallest steps will make it feel less overwhelming.

5. How would you prefer to feel? Write yourself an affirmation and repeat it daily to yourself, as well as when you are feeling stuck. This could be something along the lines of, "Don't let perfect get in the way of good."

As a recovering perfectionist myself, I know only too well how the trait can get in the way of my progress and, without the help of great coaching and constantly exercising my self-awareness muscle, I would still be staring at a blank page.

Vicki Messenger is a Women’s Business Coach, empowering aspiring, early-stage, side-hustling and pivoting female founders to create extraordinary lives through businesses that they love.  You can find more of Vicki’s articles and complementary resources at www.vickimessenger.com.

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